Infant Potty Training

by Laurie Boucke

Copyright © 2003. Used with permission.

Infant potty training is about a gentle, natural and loving method of communication and toilet learning. In most societies where Attachment Parenting has been practiced for centuries, this method of infant toileting is used. Because of this, I consider it to be another element of AP and refer to it as the sixth Baby B - after Dr. Sears' 5 Baby B's:

1. Breastfeeding (Sears)
2. Bonding (Sears)
3. Babywearing (Sears)
4. Bed-sharing (Sears)
5. Belief in Baby’s Cries (Sears)
6. Bladder/Bowel Communication & Learning (Boucke)

In many parts of Asia and Africa, mothers start pottying babies around 1-3 months old and finish before their babies walk. At that time, babies still need some assistance since they can't dress or walk. Mothers read and respond to their baby's signals - such as elimination body language, timing, patterns (in relation to feeding and waking) and vocalizations - and in this way, their babies stay clean and dry. Many mothers also rely on intuition. The reason this is possible is that there is a window of learning (sensitive period) open from birth until the age of 5-6 months.

On the medical front, recent European research has found that the current Western views on bladder and bowel control are flawed and that it is often better to start earlier than to delay. Unfortunately, the Western world has been indoctrinated to reject any form of early toilet learning. Even when our own parents or grandparents tell us that they had all of their children potty trained by 12-18 months, we assume they are mistaken. Our doubts stem from "medlore" - maturational readiness theories which are based on opinion and commercialism rather than scientific proof. By changing our attitude from skepticism to recognizing our babies' amazing abilities, we open new doors.

I refer to this method as "infant potty training" (IPT) or "infant pottying." Other terms include "elimination communication," "trickle treat" (the title of my first book on this topic, now out of print) and "natural infant hygiene."

A normal, healthy infant is aware of the bodily function of elimination and can learn to respond to it from infancy. By using diapers, we condition and thereby train baby to go in them. Later the child must unlearn this training. This can be confusing and a traumatic experience for the child.

An infant does his best to communicate his awareness to you, but if you don't listen, he will stop communicating and gradually lose touch with the elimination functions. He will be conditioned not to care and learn that you want him to use his diaper as a toilet.

One of the most common questions I'm asked is, "Is it too late to start if my baby is older than 5-6 months?" In one sense, it is never too late to start, but you will probably need to used a modified version of IPT for babies over 6 months. Many parents have started at 6, 9, even 12 months and have done okay by making some modifications. It is usually harder to start with a mobile baby who has been "trained" to go in a diaper or who wears disposables and does not associate the feeling of wetness with elimination. If this method resonates, if you feel it is right for you and your baby, and if your healthy baby takes to it, it is certainly worth an honest try! As long as there are no major upsets in your family life or health, you are likely to be open and receptive to your baby's elimination communication.

Another factor to consider is that there is not a fixed cutoff age at which babies lose their connection with the elimination functions. Each child is unique and develops in his own manner. There are parents who have learned about IPT or who have started other methods of toilet learning when their babies were 6-18 months, 2 years or even older, and who have been delighted to find that their little ones were ready, receptive and communicative about toileting at these ages. In short, the window of learning seems to remain open or accessible for some older babies. No matter what age your baby is when you first learn about IPT, I usually recommend that parents give this gentle and nurturing method a try for a few weeks, then assess whether you want to continue.

Tips for juggling a newborn and toddler

By Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC

• What can I do to prepare my older child for a new baby?
• Should breastfeeding be "hidden" from your older child or other children?
• General tips
• Activities to do with your older child while baby is nursing
• If you need a nap and your toddler doesn't
• What if your older child asks to nurse?
• Additional Resources

First off, per a wise friend of mine who is a mom of five:
Be creative, patient, and hold tight to your sense of humor!

What can I do to prepare my older child for a new baby?

• Before baby is born, it can help to talk with your older child about what newborns are like - what they look like, that they mainly nurse and sleep and cry, and how they need to be held much of the time.
• Tell stories about what your older child was like as a newborn and how you took care of him.
• Discuss things that your older child can do to help with baby: talk and sing to baby, get diapers and wipes, get mom her water bottle.
• Make opportunities for your children to see young babies and nursing babies (a La Leche League meeting can be a great place for this, especially if you don't know any nursing moms), and read books that show newborns and nursing babies.
• If your child has weaned or was never breastfed: Explain that mom makes milk for baby, that nursing is how baby eats, and that nursing also helps baby feel better when he's sad or scared or feeling bad.
• If your child is still nursing and you expect to tandem nurse: Talk to your child about how he and baby will both nurse after the baby is born. Point out that since baby can't eat other foods like your toddler can, he will need to nurse a lot. Look at pictures of tandem nursing siblings with your child. Here's more on tandem nursing.

Should breastfeeding be "hidden" from your older child or other children?

Absolutely not! Modeling nurturing behavior and breastfeeding to your children is one of the best things you can do for them.

By seeing you nurse, your child is learning that breastfeeding is the normal, healthy way to feed a child rather than a "shameful" thing that needs to be hidden away. Breastfeeding is not something that should be hidden from children (or anyone else).

Since most everyone in our culture equates babies with bottles, it's not unusual for other children to be curious when you are breastfeeding your baby. If other children are curious when you are breastfeeding, simply tell them that you are nursing the baby and that nursing is how we feed babies. Again, you are teaching them by example that breastfeeding is the way to feed and nurture babies.

General tips

Could you use a free hand when you're nursing? While you're nursing, a pillow can help bring baby to breast level so you have a hand or two free (sometimes it takes weeks or even months to get that free hand... keep trying). If you need to support your breast with your other hand, try using a small rolled-up towel.

A sling will also free up a hand or two. Are you comfortable with using a sling and nursing baby in it? In addition to nursing while you're lying down, this is another lifesaver for many moms. It frees at least one hand and allows you to keep nursing or holding your baby while tending to and playing with another child. Also, as someone I know once mentioned, when baby is in the sling your toddler can't be pulling baby's toes, or trying to get baby out of the crib, or trying to brush baby's "teeth", or dropping toys on baby.

It can be handy to have your toddler around, as many times you can ask them to fetch things for you (a diaper, a wipe, the remote, the phone, a water bottle). I don't know how many times I got settled on the couch with my first baby, then realized I was going to have to get up again to get something I forgot - the second time around I had a helper all day long, instead of only when Dad was home from work. She couldn't hold baby while I took a shower, but it sure did help with the little things.

Activities to do with your older child while baby is nursing

• Read books and snuggle and talk with your toddler while you're nursing. If you don't have a free hand, get your toddler to hold a book and turn the pages while you read.
• Play games - "I Spy" and "Simon Says" are often a big hit with toddlers.
• Play with your food - try counting (and eating) cheerios or raisins with your toddler.
• Some toddlers like to pretend-nurse their dolls or stuffed animals (or trucks!) while mom is nursing baby.
• Look at your toddler's baby book or baby pictures. Tell stories about when your toddler was a little baby. Tell stories about what your toddler can do now that he/she is bigger.

You can also set your toddler up with other activities to do while you're nursing. Drawing, coloring, puzzles, blocks or big legos, cars/trains, etc. Some moms keep a box of toys that is out only when baby is nursing. We have a play kitchen that keeps my kids interested for a long time - they bring me food to eat and fix food for their dolls and stuffed animals and plastic dinosaurs, and have tea parties. Things like playdough and painting and water play can keep kids interested for a long time, but depending upon where you can set it up and your child, this may or may not be something that works when you're nursing.

If you need a nap and your toddler doesn't

Childproof a room of the house that has:

• a door or a baby gate (so your toddler can't "escape" and play in the toilet while you're resting)
• a bed or comfortable spot on the floor where you can lie down and nurse
• interesting toys that your toddler is likely play with without much interaction - some moms also put on a favorite video
• a snack and a drink for toddler

When you want to nap (or at least rest) while baby naps, close off the door so you can lie down with baby without worrying about what your toddler is getting into. A friend says she would lie on the floor with baby and let her toddlers use mom as a "road" for their matchbox cars - rest and a massage all "rolled" into one!

What if your older child asks to nurse?

It's pretty common for a toddler, or even an older child, to ask to nurse at some point after the new baby arrives. Many just want to know whether mom will say yes - they may also want to be held like a baby or "babied" in other ways. If given the opportunity to nurse, most children will simply touch or kiss the breast, giggle, and go play. Some moms prefer not to offer, but might offer breastmilk in a cup to taste, or simply distract the child with another activity. See What if a "weaned" child asks to nurse again? for more on the subject.

4 Good Gifts for your Baby

By: Angela Minster

It is always a challenge to find a proper and suitable baby gift for your little one and worth money for the parents. A good gift must be safe, harmless and develop your child’s individuality and personality. In order to choose the right gift for the baby you must take into consideration specific features of thinking and behaviour at different stages of his or her development. The best gift for your baby is a baby toy. You may find a lot of high-quality baby gifts in the United Kingdom and we would like to give you a piece of advice concerning some categories of the baby toys like wooden toys, baby books, bath toys and baby cot mobiles.

Wooden toys are bright and safe toys for your child. Wooden beads, wooden puzzle, wooden letters, wooden toy clock, xylophone, wooden Geometric Triple Stacker, Traditional Alphabet and Number Blocks, wooden bricks and many other wooden toys will help in counting, learning to read, identifying the colour, size and shape, enjoying music. Besides some cognition reasons wooden toys provide great fun for children.

Baby books open your children to the wonderful world of miracle, help to discover the beautiful and answer some questions. In childhood children get acquainted with their favourite characters like Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Pooh, Tiger and Piglet etc. Books teach those who began to get to know with the surrounding them world to be more kind, honest and noble. If your little ones are too young to read – you may do it yourselves, especially before going to bed, thus developing children’s imagination and way of thinking.

Bath toys. Children and water – are joyful games, cognition of the surrounding their world, great interest of the body possibilities in water, swimming, and health as well as excellent photos. Daily bathing of a child- is much more than just a hygienic procedure and hygienic purity, it is one of the most pleasant rituals in his life. After water procedures your baby eats better and sleeps peacefully. Also some specialists consider that daily bathing is a way of communicating with your children besides being a nice and pleasant procedure, as your baby recognises native scents, voices, but the main thing – touches, since the very first day in this world. Look attentively after your baby- with the time you will learn to understand each other just by the first touch.

Baby cot mobiles. It is high time to think about babes cot mobiles. Fabulous cot mobiles give a great, excitement and enjoyable time to your lovely children. They sing, move and vibrate. They will be good friends with your little ones, for example, Winnie the Pooh and his friends or a selection of entertaining Disney characters, a musical canopy or a piano, playing a lot of tunes just by the slight touching it and the others will bring a lot of joy to your children. Your child will be very cheerful playing them. We would like to draw your attention that cot mobiles develop moving activity, visual and tactile stimulation of your little ones.
http://www.1stbabyshop.com/

What is the better choice of the toys for a baby in the period of 6-9 months old?

By: Angela Minster

It is always a challenge to find a proper and useful toy for your child. On the one hand a toy must be useful for the baby’s development, on the other- it must be harmless. To select a correct toy for the baby you know some of his or her peculiarities of thinking and behaviour at stages of his or her development. Let us help you to discover the interesting and beautiful world of baby toys for your child from the ages of 3-6 months old.

In the period of 6-9 month the agility of your baby develops and becomes more complicated. He or she is grabbling freely and even tries to stand up onto two legs. Simultaneously small hand mobility develops: little one tries not just to grip the object in his palm, but also take it with his or her fingers.

Formerly a baby got acquainted with his or her surrounding objects occasionally, now their actions are purposeful. Liberalisation of the little person’s horizon will depend on adults. It is a serious thing for you to show your baby how to play with various toys: how to bang a little drum, how to play the small piano and press the keys, how to handle and ring the ball. At this age babies still chew and play with the rattles and tweeters, but they are also interested in more compound toys like little cars and books with bright pictures (note, always buy books with thick cardboard for small children!).

This age is a special period of time for the parents. Expression “being all eyes” more precisely describes the given situation. Some parents try to restrain the moving activity of their children from considerations of safety or not having enough time to look after them. But you must protect your child only against that is really dangerous to them. Children must learn out from their mistakes.

At the 9 months old the child understands that he or she can play with two toys simultaneously. For example, if they beat one toy on another, a sound will appear (tinkling, rattling) and the child likes these kind of sounds. Now they can play with bricks and pyramidions. In the beginning the child will smash and destroy the built houses and castles, but with time he or she will try to build them on their own. There are special meccanos of flexible plastic for 7-9 month old babies. As a rule, these are open-ended rings, which are linked easily together (though children like to nibble them).

By now a child can play simple games with the adults like “clapping palms”, “cuckoo”, and “let’s fly” etc. Ask your baby to find this or that toy, asking “Where is the rabbit?” If your child does not understand or finds a difficulty in finding the toy, help him “See, the rabbit is here!”
Attention!

1) Toys must not be broken or cracked easily; these contain fine details, which can get into child’s mouth or nose.
2) Plush toys are given to the child only in case if they are easily cleaned.
3) When the child begins to open the surrounding world in his or her room, cover the sharp corners of the furniture with something soft, close up plug sockets, and clear the wires away from the floor.
4) When entering your child’s room, dear parents, do not forget that your child might be standing behind the door.
5) Look carefully after your child and what he or she plays with. Among their “toys” can be not only the safe Mother’s slipper, but crackling plastic sachet (your child certainly will want to try it on).

Any baby store can offer you a wide range of toys, but, dear
parents please see carefully what toys you buy your little one, as not all are good and safe for them. http://www.1stbabyshop.com

Throwing A Baby Shower : What You Need To Know

By: Simone Butler

Throwing baby showers is a time-honored way to celebrate the impending addition of a new member to a loved one's family. Traditionally, a baby shower is a "girls only" event, often hosted by the baby's godmother, but today baby showers can be hosted by any friend or relative of the mother-to-be, and can be attended by whomever the host wishes to invite. The general purpose of a baby shower is to give useful gifts to the expectant mother, such as layette items, baby toys and clothes, and often gift certificates for useful things. It is not untoward for the expectant parents to draw up a "wish list" of items they especially need but may be having difficulty affording.

Baby showers are a relatively recent tradition, generally credited as having their start in the US. A baby shower is usually a relatively casual event, held in the afternoon or early evening, often with refreshments provided and sometimes party games held as well. It is not uncommon to have a potluck shower, where guests each bring a food item along with a gift, although fully catered showers are also quite common. Party games, if the host chooses to have them, generally center around the general theme of the baby and pregnancy, ranging from themed versions traditional games like charades to activities such as guessing the circumference of the pregnant guest-of-honor.

While many parents-to-be look forward to having a baby shower, some social groups feel such celebrations are best left as family affairs, or believe that it is bad luck to celebrate a birth before it happens. If you offer to host a shower for an expectant friend, don't be hurt if she politely declines. In other cases, the mother-to-be may have multiple showers! Perhaps one for co-workers and casual friends, and one for close friends and family. Some women have a baby shower only for their first child, while others may choose to have one for every pregnancy.

Baby showers are not bound by rigid traditions to the same extent as weddings and other life events, so don't be surprised if a new friend's baby shower is nothing like the last one you attended. There is really no "wrong" way to throw a baby shower, so if you have been charged with hosting a shower for a friend or relative, it's an "anything goes" affair (so long as you have the guest of honor's stamp of approval for your plans!).

About the author: Simone writes for http://www.nappiesfromhell.co.uk/

An Introduction to Baby Car Seats

By: Simone Butler

Becoming a parent for the first time involves a huge amount of learning, as there are hundreds of things involved which childless people will have had no reason to come across before, nor had any incentive to learn about. When you first learn of the impending new arrival, your thoughts will probably be taken up with decorating and equipping a nursery, buying clothes, bottles, and much more, but many people don't think of a baby car seat until later on in the pregnancy. It's very important to make sure you know what to look for in a seat, as after all, you'll need one on your baby's very first journey, from the hospital back to home.

For this first journey, you'll need a seat which faces towards the rear of your vehicle. This provides the best protection in the event of an impact for an infant who is unable yet to support the weight of their own head. The seat will be nicely reclined backwards, providing a safe and comfortable coccoon for your baby.

It's important to choose a rear-facing seat which is sturdy and dependable, yet light to carry. Young babies sleep a little and often, and the last thing you want to do after finally getting your child to sleep in a car journey is to wake them by removing them from their warm and cosy seat. Having an easily detachable model which is light to carry means you can ferry your baby from car to house with as little disturbance as possible.

These rear facing seats are only suitable for younger infants. Once they've grown to weigh around 20 pounds, or the top of their head is nearing the upper edge of the seat and thus no longer protected properly, you'll need to move to a forward facing seat.

These seats are much more upright, but better models can be adjusted to provide a more horizontal position to help your toddler sleep during longer journeys. Because of the upright position, it's essential that your child is able to sit up on their own before using this kind of seat. Forward facing seats are built to last for a fair few years, and most will be good until your child reaches the age of 4 or 6.

Before we finish, there are two extremely important things to bear in mind when buying a car seat.

Firstly, you should be very careful when buying one that isn't brand new. Although it might seem like an economy to get a second hand seat, there's no way of knowing for sure its history. It may have been involved in an accident at some point in the past, resulting in weaknessess that may not be visible to the naked eye. These weaknesses could endanger your baby even in a minor accident. You should only buy a used seat when you can be absolutely sure of the history - such as when buying off close friends or family.

Finally, baby car seats shouldn't be fitted in front seats where an airbag is fitted. In an accident, the inflation of the airbag could cause serious injury or suffocation to a child, so always fit car seats in the rear of the vehicle in this case.

About the author: Simone writes for http://www.nappiesfromhell.co.uk/ which is a guide for new parents, covering a range of subjects on coping with your new arrival