My baby is fussy! Is something wrong?

• What is normal baby fussiness?
• What causes babies to be fussy?
• Comfort measures for fussy babies
• I'm worried about spoiling my baby
• Conclusion

What is normal baby fussiness?

Whether breastfed or formula fed, during their first few months, many babies have a regular fussy period, which usually occurs in the late afternoon or evening. Some babies' fussy periods come so regularly that parents can set their clocks by it! The standard infant fussiness usually starts at about 2 to 3 weeks, peaks at 6 weeks and is gone by 3 to 4 months. It lasts on "average" 2 to 4 hours per day. Of course, there is a wide variety of normal.

To distinguish between "normal" and a problem, normal usually occurs around the same time of day, with approximately the same intensity (with some variation); responds to some of the same things each time, such as motion, holding, frequent breastfeeding, etc.; and occurs in a baby who has other times of the day that he is contentedly awake or asleep. Normal fussiness tends to occur during the time of the day that the baby usually stays awake more, the most common time is in the evening right before the time that the baby takes his longest stretch of sleep.

What causes babies to be fussy?

If you feel that your baby's fussiness is not normal, it's never a bad idea to get baby checked by the doctor to rule out any illness. A common cause of fussy, colic-like symptoms in babies is foremilk-hindmilk imbalance (also called oversupply syndrome, too much milk, etc.) and/or forceful let-down. Other causes of fussiness in babies include diaper rash, thrush, food sensitivities, nipple confusion, low milk supply, etc.

Babies normally fuss for many reasons: overtiredness, overstimulation, loneliness, discomfort, etc. Babies are often very fussy when they are going through growth spurts. Do know that it is normal for you to be "beside yourself" when your baby cries: you actually have a hormonal response that makes you feel uncomfortable when your baby cries.

Comfort measures for fussy babies (many fit into several different categories)

Basic needs	Nurse Burp baby Change his diaper Undress baby completely to make sure no clothing is "sticking" him
Comforting Touch	Hold baby Carry baby in a sling Give baby a back rub Carry baby in the "colic hold" (lying across your forearm, tummy down, with your hand supporting his chest) Lay baby across your lap & gently rub his back while slowly lifting & lowering your heels Lay baby tummy-down on the bed or floor and gently pat his back Massage your baby
Reduce stimulation	Swaddle baby Dim lights and reduce noise
Comforting Sounds	Play some music (try different styles and types of voices to see which baby prefers) Sing to baby Turn on some "white noise" (fan, vacuum cleaner, dishwasher)
Rhythmic motion / change of pace	Nurse baby in motion (while walking around or rocking) Give baby a bath Rock baby Hold baby and gently bounce, sway back and forth or dance Put baby in a sling or baby carrier and walk around inside or outside Put baby in a baby swing (if he's old enough) Take baby outside to look at the trees Take baby for a walk in the stroller Go for a car ride Set baby in a baby carrier (or car seat) on the dryer with the dryer turned on (stand by him, as the vibration can bounce the seat right off the dryer onto the floor)

One of the most interesting things I've seen in the research regarding infant fussiness is that almost anything a parent tries to reduce fussiness will work, but only for a short time (a few days), and then other strategies need to be used.

If you nurse and it doesn't seem to help, then try other comfort measures. If you pick him up or nurse him, and baby is content, then that was what he needed. If it works, use it!

I'm worried about spoiling my baby

Your baby will not be spoiled if you hold him and nurse him often - quite the opposite, in fact. Studies have shown that when babies are held often and responded to quickly, the babies cry less, and the parents learn to read baby's cues more quickly. A young child's need for his mother is very intense - as intense as his need for food. Know that your child really needs you. It is not about manipulation or something you can "fix" with the right discipline. Often a baby who is perceived as fussy is simply a baby who needs more contact with mom (and is smart enough to express this need) and is content once his needs are met. See the links below to read more about spoiling.

Conclusion

Caring for a fussy baby can be very stressful! Give both yourself and baby some extra TLC. Surround yourself with supportive people, de-stress in other areas if possible (for example, minimize housework), and tell yourself you are doing a great job. It is very difficult to feel good about yourself as a parent when you have a fussy baby. Don't be too alarmed if your efforts seem to have no positive effect - they are. When you stay with your baby to try to provide comfort you are beginning to teach your baby that he can count on you and that he is loved.

Your Baby And Teething

By: Simone Butler

The appearance of your baby's first tooth is a major milestone in her development, and one that will likely see you sharing photographs with family, friends, and anyone else who may happen by! Unfortunately though, the arrival doesn't always go smoothly - it can be a testing time for both you and your baby, as there will inevitably be some discomfort involved, leading to yet more sleepless nights and grizzled behaviour.

There are usually some warning signs that a tooth is on its way, and these can include an increase in salivation or drooling, an intensified tendency for your baby to bite down on toys (or even people!), flushed cheeks and swollen gums, and a general malaise shown through loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping and irritability.

Many parents will tell you that teething is often accompanied by other problems such as stomach upsets or colds, although most medical experts say that there is no real connection, and that young children are more or less constantly fighting off one bug or another, and so any signs of illness appearing together with teething are probably just coincidences.

Teething generally starts at around 6 months, although as with all things related to babies and kids your own experience may vary. Indeed, a very few babies will be born sporting a tooth or two, while some may not see their first tooth emerge until their first birthday or even later. Whenever it starts, your baby will normally have a complete set of teeth by their third birthday, and these milk teeth will last until around the age of six, when they will begin to be replaced by adult teeth.

Although some infants sail through the whole teething process with little difficulty, for others it can be a real ordeal. Unfortunately there's nothing we as parents can do to speed the growth, but there are ways to relieve the discomfort a little.

The most traditional remedy for teething pain is a rubber biting ring, which works with your baby's natural inclination to bite down on things. A soft rubber ring provides a safe outlet for this urge, and keeping the ring in the refrigerator when not in use will also provide a cooling sensation.

Teething gel can also be applied to the gums, which can provide comfort, and can be smeared onto a dummy or pacifier if the biting reflex means direct application to the gums is risky for the parent!

Teething powders are also available, which consist of a sachet of crystals which you can pour into your baby's mouth, and seem to prove more effective than gels with some children.

Finally, you may find yourself having to resort to pain relief medication if the problem is severe. Be certain to use a medicine specifically formulated for babies of your child's age, and stick to the recommended dosage. Medicine which also induces drowsiness, such as anti-fever preparations, can also be very useful - especially at bed time.

Hopefully your own baby will not have too much difficulty developing a healthy toothy grin, but if you're finding teething is a problem, then remember that it doesn't last forever, and keep counting the teeth as they arrive!

About the author: Simone writes for the parenting skills site http://www.nappiesfromhell.co.uk/ where you can read more on teething and other issues relating to babies and toddlers.

Dealing With The Stress Of Being A Parent

by: Simone Butler

Becoming a parent is a life changing event, and while bringing up children certainly can be a joyful experience there's no denying that it can also place huge stresses on you as a mother or father. Commonly recommended ways of dealing with stress in other areas of life tend to involve 'getting away from it all', such as visits to the gym or a game of squash to release the tension. However, being a parent is a full time job and it's not always possible to take time out in this way.

Luckily, there are several ways of dealing with your stress that actively involve your children, and so are much easier to apply to your day to day life. You'll also probably find that enjoying time with your children while simultaneously lowering your stress levels will deepen your mutual bonds and strengthen your relationship - which sounds like a good thing all round!

Once your child is old enough to walk, you'll likely find yourself constantly watching out for them as they use their seemingly unlimited energy to explore both their environment and their own physical skills and potentials. This can sometimes be draining of the parents' energy and a factor of stress, but why not use the situation to your advantage? Harness their energy and curiosity by taking them to a safe place such as a park or the open country, and join in with their games in the sunshine and fresh air. Exercise is a proven stress-buster, and outdoor fun with your kids is probably more enjoyable than a gym workout, and almost certainly less expensive!

Artistic expression is good for your child's development, and also good for the parent's soul. Join in with your child's painting sessions, let yourself go, and get as covered in paint as she does. You might not create a masterpiece, but you'll have fun together and this small reversion to your own childhood can provide relief from your stressed adult world.

In a similar vein, music can be another great aid in the battle against stress. Maybe the most obvious way of using music is to choose something mellow and relaxing, but this is unlikely to appeal to your child as much as it does to you, and so is perhaps best left until after they're in bed and you can listen in peace. A better choice is a piece of music that has energy and encourages dancing. Your child will need no encouragement to get down and boogie, but maybe you will - try it, let yourself go a little, jump around a bit, and you can both laugh with each other and at yourselves.

If you're still feeling stressed, then head for your child's toybox and choose the noisiest toy you can find. Something like a drum is ideal. Let out your pent up frustrations by making a total racket - your child may be bemused at first but should soon enter into the spirit of things. One thing to bear in mind though, is that this last activity is perhaps best conducted in the safety of your own home, and away from the eyes of non-parent adults who may not quite understand!

About the author: Simone writes for http://www.nappiesfromhell.co.uk/